Elder Giles

Elder Giles
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Sunday, November 2, 2014

Why hast thou forsaken me?

Friends and Family,

  My kidneys still hurt. Nothing has changed there, but I`m able to work and function just fine so it really isn`t that bad. I`ll share an experience from early Sunday morning that had a really big influence on my life. 

  So I went back to the doctor last week and the doctor was really confused because the medicine wasn`t able to break up the stones at all. He said it was a little worrisome and thought it might be a bigger problem with my kidneys. I`ve been going back and forth with the mission doctor as well up in Tokyo and he asked me to send him my CT scan from a few weeks ago so I`m sending that up to him tomorrow. Basically I`ve been feeling pretty much 100% but early Sunday morning was a really rough one. I woke up about three or four o`clock in the morning with pretty intense pain. I knew I had to do something about it so I grabbed the pain killers the doctor gave me and my water bottle and went into the other room, away from where my companion and the other missionaries were sleeping. Everything hurt in my body and I pretty much fell on my knees when I got to the room. It hurt to lay down, sit down, and stand and the only position where I could get any relief was on my knees. I was still in and out of consciousness because it was so early, but I distinctly remember being on my knees and having this overcoming feeling that this was like my own personal suffering in the Garden. I don`t mean to even try to compare what I`m going through with what the Savior went through in Gethsemane. I was on my knees and I asked Heavenly Father, `Why hast thou forsaken me?` It hurt so much. They say that kidney stones are  comparable to child birth. I don`t know, all I know is it hurt. I begged my Father in Heaven to take the pain from me. I just wanted it to be done. I had the strongest feeling of love as well. When it says in the New Testament that an Angel came down to strengthen the Savior in the midst of his pain, I felt something I know was similar. Someone was there to comfort me. Through an impression I remembered that I hadn`t taken the pain killers and I needed to do so in order to get relief. I took them and noticed that I was shivering from the cold of the hard wood floor. I put my sweatshirt on used another one as a pillow and the next thing I remember is waking up about five or five thirty in the morning and thinking I probably shouldn`t sleep there on the floor and that I should go climb back in to my futon. When the alarm went off at 6:25 I told my District Leader what had happened and he said that he thought I should go back to sleep and let Sister W know I was in some pain. I told him I`d be fine and that I was capable to work that day. I emailed Sister W and let her know what was going on. She basically told me to just do what I felt comfortable doing and that her and President were so so so sorry that this was happening. I`m so grateful to have such a loving Mission President and Mission Mom. I went on through the Sabbath with a little pain every now and then, but I was able to work just fine.

  I`m so grateful for a loving Savior and for the chance to be made perfect through him. I know he lives. Our Father in Heaven knows us all perfectly. He knows what we`re going through and how to help us. I love this Gospel. I can`t imagine going through life without the knowledge I have of a loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. 

  I love you all so much! I`m just fine and I can feel your love every day. Thank you so much for supporting me. I love you guys. Have a great week!

Elder Giles   

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